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Local Snow…

If you don’t understand the phenomenon of snow in the South, you’re not indigenous to the land below the Mason-Dixon line…

Here are a few facts:

In the Asheville area (and we’ll keep it local; I can’t speak for everybody), a dusting of snow means you can still see the grass through it. A real snow = no visible grass; probably 3-4″ accumulation. Beyond that is cause for major excitement. 

Why do schools close and people assault the milk/white bread/hamburger meat* aisles? Because everyone in the mountains knows that A) most snow that falls here turns to ice and B) why not take advantage of a guilt-free day out of the office? I, for one, find it charming that we can justify staying home for snow–why pressure yourself and risk an accident when no one else (except non-locals) will be in the office that day? Be grateful for the miracle of snow and the ability to burn a sick/emergency leave day and just enjoy…

 Now, if you think Ashevillains can’t drive in the snow, you’re wrong. If it was just snow, we’d suck it up and go to work. Snow in this area, however, is actually ice-in-disguise, and nobody drives well on ice, regardless of the size/weight/knobby tires of your mammoth SUV. Our roads are narrower than the norm, which means a slip on ice can send you into the ditch or into another car. Our secondary roads** are curvy and “banked” and most of them don’t get scraped or salted, and it’s hard to keep a vehicle between the ditches when you’re operating on a slick, tilted surface.

Anyway, the point is: if it snows in Asheville, enjoy the postcard prettiness by looking out the window with a cup of hot chocolate near at hand. Don’t put said cocoa in your travel mug and run amok on the roads…stay home and visit friends on Facebook. I’ve come to realize that the work will still be there tomorrow.

*Milk/white bread/hamburger meat (or MWBHM) Alert: Whatever you fling into your buggy before a snow (beer and Twinkies, et al), it’s always classified as milk, white bread, and hamburger meat. Heaven knows what you’ll make with that combo, but it’s a time-honored tradition to label it thusly.

**Some of our primary roads, too. Try to drive the “Richard Petty Bridge” (I-40 East or West near the Ridgecrest Exit) at interstate speed when it’s icy…see you in the funny papers!

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About ltbrwnhare

A real Ashevillain, from the fabled town of Asheville, NC. There aren't too many of us "from here" any more, but don't ask about the secret handshake. Few people know I blog; they think I work for corporate America. I do. Both. There's probably a secret handshake for that, too. You can think of me as a "locavore," if you like: someone who consumes local food and culture. I'm not just local, though--I like finding out interesting stuff from all over the place, traveling, tasting, reading, writing fiction (actually, I write non-fiction--I just don't let my family read it and get mad at me for spilling the beans. There are some pretty funky beans to spill, sometimes, but that's just a fact of life in the South...), and lots of other things. If I think of them, maybe I'll blog about them.

2 responses »

  1. Interesting blog– and thank goodness for someone who is on familiar terms with grammar!
    On that note, I have to assume it is Freudian, the way you spelled ‘Ashevillian’ in the drum circle piece….

    Reply
  2. Both Freudian and by design–don’t we all think of ourselves as “Ashevillains”?

    Reply

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